I’ve been single for a long while now and my friends have been trying to convince me that internet dating is the way forward. Now, I don’t believe them but after reading about every man and his dog meeting people on t’interweb and getting married I thought maybe I ought to re-visit it!
Seriously BIG mistake. After wasting a good hour of my life trawling through pages of ‘eligible bachelors’ let me offer you guys who are genuinely trying to meet a girl some advice:
- Get rid of the crap user name. It may be what the lads have called you for the last 10 years but quite frankly I don’t need a ‘stud muffin’ in my life!
- Put some clothes on in your profile pictures......okay? Thanks!
- For the love of god learn to spell.....if you don’t know how, turn on spell check or find a dictionary.
- If the bio line is the first thing Ladies see then writing ‘I don’t do this’ is quite ridiculous.
- If you have ‘in a relationship’ as a status.....f*ck off! Seriously I feel really sorry for you and your Partner and it’s only a matter of time before you are caught!
- Try and find a more amusing bio-line than ‘caring man seeks caring woman’.....Yawn!!! If you aren’t capable of coming up with one ask a female friend to help so I at least feel like there’s hope in the dating world.
- Complete your profile page as much as possible! It’s a deal breaker for me knowing how tall you are and if you want any more kids!
- Sending me e-mails that indicate you just want sex.....just don’t do it for me!!
I don’t think that I’m fussy when it comes to men (although my friends may disagree) but there are a couple of things that I really need:
- You have to be at least 6 ft tall. I’m 5’ 11” and call me old fashioned but I will not be dating anybody that is 5’ 5”!
- The spelling thing really annoys me.....see point 2 above ;-)
- I don’t need a partner that earns a huge amount and I don’t care if you are a dustbin man or
what your profession may be. Someone that earns under £20k is probably not gonna do it for me on an internet dating site though! (yeah...I’m shallow.....I need someone that will buy me Louboutins at least once a year!!!)
So, it’s looking likely that I’m not going to find my match on the t’interweb...anyone got any other bright ideas?????