I’m really wasn’t sure as to whether or not to actually publish this post but the trouble is that if I don’t get some of my thoughts out of my system I may well actually explode!!!
Yesterday ‘The Man’ and I had our first argument which was all over something completely ridiculous, although I feel like we both have a point. It’s been a long long time since I was in a relationship and ‘The Man’ is starting again after a decade so I guess it will be weird for both of us to get used to being in a ‘new’ relationship again.
What I don’t know is the easiest way to get through the minefield. When I was (being forced into) setting my Internet Dating profile up on line there were certain things I knew I wanted from a man. The absolute certainties for me were that he needed to:
a) Already have kids
b) Not have any huge desire to get married
c) Have a good work ethic
All of which ‘The Man’ has and, as at our age everyone comes with baggage, I thought that I was prepared for that and the compromise that comes with it. What I wasn’t prepared for was actually how black and white my feelings are on some things.
I feel like I need to set out a ‘relationship rules’ guideline or something seeing as these things don’t come with a useful manual!!!!! I’m obviously NOT actually going to say this to him but so far my ideals would be:
- - He has to text me at least once in the working day! Preferably before lunch. I don’t care what the text says but I want him to want to contact me. I know it’s such a ridiculous thing but if I don’t hear from him I presume that he either doesn’t want me and has gone off me or has crashed his car on the way to work etc.....see previous post about being a girl!! I then spend the whole day on the emotional rollercoaster and not actually doing anything!!!! (side note: must buy the work colleagues some chocolates to apologise for being crap and completely unproductive for the last three weeks!!)
- - See me twice a week. I don’t care which days/nights/times and it doesn’t have to be set in stone but surely at this point in the relationship he should want to hang out with me, no matter how shit the day at work has been or how tired he is???
- - Make an effort..... i.e. text me and tell me I’m beautiful, turn up unexpectedly, send me flowers, call me at lunchtime for no reason, make me giggle constantly.....
- - He has to be honest. Now I’m completely aware that this is a double edged sword and so far he has a 100% record on this. The problem is of course that the truth hurts like a bitch and I don’t always want to hear it. With the experience of many years of crap men however, I would still much prefer that him tell me he’s having a crap day and doesn’t want to see me........ (most of the time anyway!!)
So what do you think? Am I asking/expecting too much at this stage of the relationship? What are your ground rules or ideals and when did you spell them out in your relationship?? As always, I look forward to hearing your opinion and keeping me sane J